it's time to blog again. i realise everytime i blog here. it wasnt going to be anything good. this is bad. i carn seem to find anything that brightens my day anytime anywhere. pls, just gimmi some happy moments.
i think it's gonna be a super long post so beware. =)
some things just suddenly occured to me. and it's turning me crazy. YILE, YOU JUST WASTED YOUR SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE. with nothing that you cherish. with nothing that you know you'' keep close to your heart. and the worse part of it is that. it was supposed to be the most memorable days of my life. Other than my wedding of course. That is if I find someone to marry. XP You wasted your time, you suck big time. Okay yes. This struck me yesterday and it totally drove me mad. YES. Precious moments gone with time.
And then this linked on to a even bigger event that I dunno if it was good/bad/neutral. Is there something wrong with the way I communicate with people, or is there something wrong with me? Because ppl are misunderstanding what I am doing, and it wasn’t just one person. It was MORE THAN 5. YOUKNOW. 5. and they are all close to me. I really dunoe what I did to make them think this way, but it isn’t good. Please tell me how. to. Change. I need the help, thanks!
Okay back to the subject about me turning mad. Yes, I am mad. You go ard you ask anyone. Is yile mad? Is yile mad? They will answer YES! YILE IS MAD! Because of some weird things that I said, it is scaring the hell out of other people. Like this line. Yile says: you want to play I play with you loh. Hahaa. This was what came out from me when I was like really clueless. But then it wasn’t going to be fair. even though the game might be really fun and stuff. You just carn bring yourself to do that. But I said that.
Which got back a reply:
If you think you can just play like that, you are even worse.
Which yes. Makes sense and I am not that type. I wun do that. So yea I suppose all those thinking was getting at me. I was getting mad.
They say I changed. And it kinda saddens me. Cause the change wasn’t for the better. In fact, it meant something bad.
“ yile, I think you have changed a lot, like usually you dun do this. But now you do.”
NO. I want to say I didn’t change. What really changed was just some of my behaviour. but, what’s really within me is still the same. I am the same old yile who will koped your food whenever I can, same old yile who would like to listen to your troubles but not knowing how to chase them away, the same old yile who will try to make you happy again with cheesy grins and smiles, the same old yile who is willing to lend you a shoulder, the same old yile who likes to suan you but actually she means well, the same old yile who makes you go -.- by saying lame stuff that you know she is crapping. She’s the SAME old yile that all of you know. She’s the same.
Yea. I dun wanna change. Pls tell me I didn’t.
And there’s this part about me telling shen that I was zi nue. I wanted to tell her, YES DEFINITELY. If I have the chance to have go into one, I will. This would be theoretically. YILE IS A ZI NUE KUANG. But then. When things of this sort might really happen, you tend to think more about it. You dun wanna hurt yourself. you dun wanna hurt someone else. You hope that you all will still remain happy as ever, and things get complicated. Something that you know will end before you even started, should never ever start in the first place. Unless you are positively sure that! It will turn out well. So actually dashen I am not so zi nue after all. XDXD But then dashen! it would still be nice to have one. Although it shouldn’t be the first. HAHAA.
Is it getting a bit too long?? HAHAHA. Okay a message for you if you see it: pls be more serious when it comes to this okay? Because when you are not, it makes you seem like a playa. And I dun think that is very good for yourself right? Be more serious and dun settle on any/all that’s in your direction. Find the right one and keep it. XD and you’ll be happy and blessed LONG time. ^^
That’ll be the nicest thing to hear. =)
Okay I shant go all feeling weird weird liao: And it’s time for some new year resolutions (yea they are like super late) -live everyday happily, without any sighs, without any hard feelings -let people get influenced by the liveliness -to get my jap back on track (this can kill) -to get dashen BGR-accepter (LOL. No more BL GL pls!) -to get qian a kisser-accepter ( Dun ewww. XD you did kiss your parents before XP) -to get myself a nicenice cushion! XD -to get myself a nicenice camera/laptop!
I shall work hard on it. Save up eat less lose weight buy stuff find stuff smile everyday happy everyday lively everyday!
